Introducing: Mr. Clickbait

Humbled by Mr. Clickbait

Turns out, I was the red flag for assuming beauty can’t hold substance…

Do you ever just know something is a bad idea but do it anyway? 

That was me with men. 

After all of my experiences, I have firm boundaries and clear expectations. But sometimes. Sometimes, someone comes along that has me ignoring all of that. 

Perhaps it’s the mutual attraction that goes beyond practicality. 

Perhaps it’s wanting to be the one to conquer the unconquerable. 

Whatever it is, I try not to judge myself for it. 

I’m hoping to find my endgame but until he arrives why not have a little fun? And we can unpack it here together. 

Enter Mr. Clickbait. 

He may look like a walking red flag, but I could sense there was also something deeper there. 

I saw a similar way about him to me. 

I’d heard stories about his approach to relationships. Where others may see a player, I saw a man who was guarded as a safety mechanism. He did what my younger self did: surface level flings that felt safer than actually giving a fuck. 

He was undeniably stunning. No matter what your type is, you’d be able to appreciate the beauty of this man. Tall. Strong facial features. Deep, alluring eyes that told stories of many lives lived. A body chiseled by the gods (and an Equinox membership). 

He also happens to be a thriving OnlyFans creator. 

The problem with hot guys is they usually know it. And that usually comes with an ego. 

This one certainly knew how good he looked. He’d monetized women’s thirst for him. 

When I talked about it with my friends I’d shy away and say, “yeah, not for me.” 

But inside was the truth I wouldn’t admit out loud: he felt like a challenge. I wanted to turn the tables on him and disrupt his expectations. Hold up a mirror and show him that surface level is boring. I knew something deeper lived beneath the surface. You could see it in his eyes. That’s what I wanted to set free. 

Stripping back the layers that men are so used to showing the world is thrilling to me. Making them turn off autopilot and actually show me something real if they want a place in my life. 

The easier a man usually has it, the harder it is for him to crack my shell. That’s my own safety mechanism. 

My therapist tells me it’s a way of maintaining my sense of control after growing up feeling so out of control. A filter for who’s actually willing to be vulnerable. 

All I know is this: the harder I make it, the harder they work. 

Mr. Clickbait did not disappoint. 

There were massive communication gaps, but I never texted first. I never followed up if he didn’t respond. And I never followed him on Instagram. 

No passive aggressive messages if five days had gone by between our last conversation and no pressing for details. 

I wasn’t going to be another girl making things easy for him. 

Just patience and knowing he’d come to me. 

One day, he stepped up.

“Hi beautiful.” 

Bare minimum. 

“Hi :),” I matched his low effort. 

“Why haven’t I seen you?” 

“Because you never made a plan.” 

Three days later, he was picking me up with flowers in hand for a 6pm dinner reservation.

The date went well. 

Surprisingly, he asked as much as he shared. Not what I expected. 

I was used to guys like him hoping more for an audience than a conversation. But he wanted to know what made me tick. What I was passionate about. If I was close with my family. 

He told me about growing into his looks later in life and how he was still getting used to them. On the inside, he still felt like an awkward teen who couldn’t get a girl no matter how hard he tried. 

He told me about having kids young and how their mother was no longer in the picture. 

He had to give up his pursuit of a basketball career overseas to care for them and OnlyFans had been a blessing in his life. Enabling him to provide for them in a way he hadn’t been able to before. 

Despite his children’s mother not being in the picture, I never once heard him say a disrespectful word about her. In fact, every interaction I witnessed from him was filled with respect and kindness.

There’s something inspiring about someone who could get away with being a jerk but instead chooses to bring light and warmth instead.

I asked him if he shared this openly with everyone. 

He said no. 

Why? 

“Because no one cares.” 

Turns out, women can be just as bad as we claim men are. 

We complain about men not taking the time to get to know us beyond our beauty. But that had been Mr. Clickbait’s experience, too.

I was humbled.

I’d assumed he stuck to surface level flings as a safety mechanism, which while partially true, was also a result of most women not taking the time to see what’s beneath the surface.

What started as a magnetic challenge based on attraction had shifted entirely. 

He was so different than his online persona in the best way. All of the things that made him attractive to me would never be found on his Instagram or OnlyFans. The things that mattered to him the most, he held closest to his chest. I respected that.

This was a man of substance. Of honor. Of integrity. 

I was taken aback. If I’d let my judgments run the show, I would have written him off as just another hot guy who’s incapable of depth. 

But here he was. A man who’d been through so much, carrying weight of the world on his shoulders. 

I’d thought I was going to teach Mr. Clickbait something, but turns out it was me who was in need of a lesson.

I thought I’d be the one stripping him down past the surface.

But he was already there. He’d been living with depth I hadn’t given him credit for.

I’d decided what kind of man he was before even giving him a chance. 

I was so focused on not being fooled by beauty that I forgot sometimes substance wears the same face.

He’d showed up correct for me. It was my turn to show up correct for him.

No judgment, no games, just me.

Every Mister is part of a bigger picture. If you’re new, here’s why I started opening my diary: Why Write This?